Just because a person has a good job is not a good reason to build a relationship upon. Yes, it’s probably important, but it’s not the sole reason you should base a friendship, or deeper relationships on. You really should not want to depend on the other person’s income as that has no real bearing on how you two feel about each other.

It may be possible to have both love and security in a relationship, but to base relationships on mostly security seems rather one-sided. There are many relationships that have both love and security, but it’s very unlikely they started out with one of the partners thinking mostly of the security factor even before the relationship started.

Sometimes we want to get together with someone for reasons of financial security instead of love. When women like a man for this reason it’s called a sugar daddy or gold digger.
For men the phrase is about seeking a sugar momma. The daddy part often means it’s an older man and someone in a protective role.

While security feels good, and to many women it is a major factor to consider for a lifetime partner, it is not the same as love. Security is not the best reason to form a commitment with someone for life. Besides, being realistic, how can anyone expect things to stay the same a lifetime?

An example, although maybe a poor one, is myself. I had a decent job as a computer programmer analyst for a number of years. Salary was above average, benefits were excellent. I quit that after a number of years and became a programming consultant for almost ten years, making even more money. But then things came to a screeching halt. Due to a major law change the job opportunities for such talent took a nosedive.

When my last programming contract ended I was unable to find another one. Since then times have changed. Programmers are a dime a dozen, a lot of programming is outsourced, and the market is flooded with computer science graduates. Anyone who had based a relationship on me for security reasons would be climbing walls right now. Just eking out a living programming is not for the faint of heart.

Are you dating to be spoiled and pampered by someone? Are material acquisitions, fine dining and luxurious living the main motives you have? If so, what is the reasoning behind your motives? Do you dislike work? Do you lack the confidence to get a good paying job? Are you someone who likes a free ride?

Remember there is a price to pay for a situation like this. The sugar momma or daddy may expect romantic favors, will want you to be their “trophy” or assume you won’t be able to be your own person. Though the enticement of gifts can be a nice treat, there is also a cost involved. You need to weigh that cost if you’re the “trophy”.

Although you can find just about everything on the Internet, I was kind of surprised to learn there are actually sugar daddy websites that teach women how to meet wealthy men, marry a millionaire and be treated as a princess. The sites appeal to men who are busy executives, looking to pamper someone and want someone that is looking for an old fashion type of relationship. Men can also seek a sugar momma on some of these sites and find someone who will take care of them so they can stay at home.

The idea of these sites sounds good if money is a major motive for someone, but I wonder if they really produce as they indicate. But an even bigger question is if one does find such a “money” mate will there be a good chance it will work out as a real relationship.

Many people are not comfortable with regarding a relationship as a business transaction and want there to be true love rather than a contractual agreement. Some type of written agreement is something that appears common with movie stars and public personalities that make the super big bucks or anyone who is loaded with lots of money and possessions that worry about losing them over a divorce or a broken relationship.

If you spend some time thinking about the difference between love and security you will see that they are not the same. Its wise to give it a lot of serious thought before you make any move based on security only. Look deeply at your choices and the possible results if things don’t work out. For the sake of your relationship and peace of mind, do this before you get heavily involved with anyone based more on security than love.

Copyright © Charles L Harmon

Charles is a software developer. He is also interested in laptop computers and their trends. As time permits Self-improvement is a priority with Charles. He has been researching Internet Marketing and has a found some real money saving and money making information products and services.