Sometimes our dating does not turn out to be what we want and definitely not as it could be. You keep hoping things will change, but they may not, or may even change for the worse. Yet you keep hanging in there. Something is still binding you together. Maybe it’s just you.

Do you find yourself still dating someone regularly despite having doubts about a future with them? Is this mostly out of a need to feel secure and to continue dating them? If this has been going on for months or during a lot of your recent dating activity, it is time to sit down and think about the future of your relationship. Why are you still in it? Dating is one thing, but a long term relationship should be more than just dating.

Are you regarding the person you’re dating more as a friend than a partner? If so, that may be a better transition and you can still make plans together on weekends while you both resume dating again. Are you staying in the dating relationship in order to have a social life? Keep in mind that you are taking yourself out of the dating market if you’re doing this, despite the enjoyment of having a dating companion for eating out and movies and the like.

Try writing down what your misgivings are about your dating relationship. You may be feeling the opposite: It may be that you are afraid you like the person more than they like you. That is not unusual at all. In fact, it could be the norm since we are all different and have different ideas, tastes, and backgrounds.

Look at that and see if you have reasons to feel insecure and whether you’d always feel vulnerable, jealous or on edge. Are there objective reasons for these doubts? Has your dating partner been flirtatious? Have they seemed hung up on a past relationship or unreliable?

Try to talk this over together to see if these are your own projections or are objective concerns that are really occurring in your dating situation. Sometimes we bring our own issues from previous relationships into current ones and are not looking at the present situation clearly. Analyze yourself and see if it might be you that’s the problem.

Another reason for misgivings can be that you aren’t ready to get back into the dating scene again. Does the thought of starting again to be available for dating frustrate you?

Are you sick of the blind dates, the remarks from family members about being single, “unattached” etc? If so, this really isn’t a sufficient reason to continue to date someone you don’t care about romantically, nor is it fair to either of you.

Getting back out there in the dating arena can take a little effort but you will feel better being honest with yourself in the long run. It’s better than staying in a situation out of security or to feel you fit in socially with others. Taking control of the situation now and not letting it get further out of control is almost always better than waiting until things get worse.

If you do decide that your dating relationship just won’t work out, and you do have or need to get back “out there” in the dating scene again, then don’t overlook the Internet. It provides almost unlimited opportunities through the huge number of online dating websites, to ease the burden of finding a suitable dating partner.

Copyright © Charles L Harmon

Charles is a software developer. He is also interested in the newest software offerings. As time permits self-improvement is a priority with Charles. He has been researching Internet Marketing and has a found some real money saving and money making information products and services.