Sometimes love relationships just don’t seem to work out right. You’re with your partner, then you’re not, and it’s happened several times. Maybe you’ve just broken up but now you find yourself after the breakup still seeing your ex partner. You may not have expected that, but now it seems to be happening in your love relationship.

I’m sure you’ve heard of that happening to someone else, but now it’s happening to you. How many times have we seen that in others? It seems to be a common occurrence in love relationships. Is this a cycle? If so, it’s important to look at the factors that contribute to this alternation of closeness and that of being pulled apart.

When your love relationship falters and you break up, is it the same type of issues that create the breakup? Are they about jealousy, finances, kid issues, commitment, personality differences or communication? Do you find that you fight about everything, and nothing specific is the cause for the repeated break ups? Your smooth going love relationship has turned sour.

Study your past relationships. They might give you a clue. Did they also have this back and forth pattern? What causes this? Do you go back and forth in other areas of your life as well, such as commitment to a job or choice of friend? What about being capricious in your weekend plans? Love relationships are full of compromises. Are there any?

What draws you back together after your breakup? Is it the physical attraction only? Are there personality factors that match and really connect? If it’s not just a physical attraction and you know or feel there’s something more, then that indicates there is probably some depth and hope to your love relationship. It may be something that can be worked out with a third party counselor.

Depending on whether it’s happened one, twice, or many times, it’s conceivable some real soul searching by both of you, and resulting changes or compromises, could bring you both back together permanently. But that’s a job better handled by a counselor.

If one or both of you have emotional flare ups and are strong willed, this can make communications quite difficult and lead to periods of emotional and possibly physical separation that can be chronic in nature. Clarity and insight from a professional is the best way to gain awareness and techniques to practice better habits to salvage your love relationship. Yes it may be a difficult decision to see a counselor or someone not a part of your relationship, but that may be necessary to set things on the right track.

There can be something addictive about the back and forth love relationship due to the joy and happiness in the reunions. This becomes unhealthy when it is the “highs” that are what’s craved. A good love relationship means that one can work through disagreements and conflicts without constant breakups and drama.

It is not natural for the two in a love relationship to have these breakups, and then back together again many times. It is unlikely that that type of situation can last indefinitely. Almost surely one of the two will think I’ve had enough and make that last breakup the one causing them to separate and go their own way.

See if you can get support through counseling to find ways to talk about the areas that cause the tension. Those tensions are the catalyst that cause the breakups to re-occur. If those tensions can be found and eliminated that will stop the yoyo effect which becomes a drain on both of you and your love relationship.

Deepening your conversational abilities and problem solving skills will give you a far greater chance for a love relationship to succeed. A good counselor can discover your relationship tensions that cause recurring breakups and point you both in the right direction to solve your problems.

Copyright © Charles L Harmon

Charles is a software developer. He is also interested in laptop computer trends. As time permits Self-improvement is a priority with Charles. He has been researching Internet Marketing and has a found some real money saving and money making information products and services.