When you are dating do you ever think to yourself what kind of person I attract as a date? I’ll bet many of us don’t unless there is an obvious pattern that can be gleaned from previous dates. When I was dating I never thought about that myself because the girls I ended up dating were a real mixture and could not be strictly categorized as a certain type of girl. Well, maybe loosely I could say they were not wild like some girls were. Other than that it would be pretty difficult to categorize them. When I was dating I was never consciously looking for a specific kind of person.

Do you feel like you are a magnet for mommas boys or a certain type of man like the bad boy? Jung talks about archetypes and that people look unconsciously for an archetypal figure. There are both feminine and masculine types such as daddy’s little girl, a mother earth figure, high maintenance woman or the woman needing guidance. Other archetypes include the intellectual man not connected to

practical , the eternal boy (Peter Pan) and Mr. Fix It. When dating all those types are out there.

Many people think of a dating partner like a combination plate, which could include different features from various archetypes. Jung talks about how we may compensate for our own one-sidedness by seeking someone with opposite or complimentary characteristics. Sometimes that occurs in dating, even though you did nothing to make it happen.

Someone who may be very generous could be attracted to a person who is able to set boundaries and defend their own self-interests. A person who sides more with their analytical skills may be drawn to an artistic person or someone who’s in touch with their creative non-verbal side.

Do you like who you attract as a dating partner? Some women find that they are seen as mother figures to men and they don’t like this type of relationship structure when dating. Yet, it repeats itself over and over. There is some type of “energy” that men pick up from her about her capacity to nurture, take care of other people and put others needs ahead of her own. Yet women may not like to be in this type of dating relationship with a romantic partner. Some may just be comfortable with this amongst their friends, colleagues and children.

Often the people we attract for dating are not the ideal relationship we hope for. We want a romantic relationship to be a relief from our ordinary patterns rather than another instance of these repeated archetypes. Many people complain that they seem to constantly attract the same type of person when dating, despite the fact that this type isn’t their dream person.

They could even be the opposite of what they were looking for. Look at the kind of message you are giving out to see who you tend to draw towards you. What is it about you that sends out that signal to them? Are those your primary characteristics and are there qualities you may want to add or supplement so you can draw another type of person that may be a more ideal dating partner for you?

Before you can change the type of person that’s attracted to you or to attract a certain type of dating partner, you need to recognize your own characteristics that others might see in you. This is not always easy. It may be even more difficult to change things to attract a different type of person. Look at your habits, do they influence someone else or strongly signify something about you?

For example a highly obvious statement about you can be easily gleaned by looking at the type of car you drive. Is it always clean and shiny? What about the interior, is it clean or messy or filled with junk? Even more obvious is the particular type of vehicle you drive. We may never think too much about these things, but our dating partner might.

A potential dating partner might see your car and assume, maybe wrongly, that you are a neat person, or sloppy, careless, sophisticated, professional, etc. just by the car you drive or looking at its inside. Drive an expensive car, even if it’s many years old, and someone might assume you have money, are rather sophisticated, or a professional something or other.

I know this to be a fact as I am always teased at work for driving my BMW to work. I have a regular job and am not in management. Even though my cars are many years old, people assume its still an expensive car, when in reality it could cost considerably less than a new cheap car. I have three older BMW’s that I take turns driving and it’s always the same – people assume I have money.

In fact, one of the young girls at work said “I’ll trade cars with you” when I was driving my BMW 328i convertible. Yet she didn’t realize her near new Honda Accord was worth more than my car, and in fact cost a lot more than my BMW, because I bought that one used when it was nine years old. Similar impressions occur when I drive my Corvette. Although it’s old I get a very similar response.

If you’re a girl that drives a pickup truck it’s possible a guy might classify you as a tomboy, when in reality you might be a pretty smart woman. You chose to buy a vehicle that doesn’t go out of style, is handy for carrying things, and still has all the necessities or luxuries you need. You’ve avoided the temptation to get the latest model car that costs way more than you can reasonably afford.

An excellent example of this is an older woman at work. She had a nice small pickup truck. She always dresses very nicely, and I would guess expensively too. In addition, she is rather attractive. Someone seeing her in the vehicle might have one opinion. That opinion, however, could change drastically when she gets out of her vehicle. She appears very sophisticated, always dresses flawlessly and has the air of a fashion model.

Your clothes and how you dress make a big statement about you. This is one area that’s easy to change where other personal habits are much more difficult to change. Try to take stock of how others see you and it will certainly make it easier to figure out what you need to change if you want to attract a different type of date.

If you have a close friend that you will not get upset if they tell you the truth, then ask them how they see you. Or possibly someone in your family can objectively answer that question and shed light on potential changes you might need to make to attract a different type of person for your dating relationships.

Copyright © 2007-2008 Charles Harmon

About the Author

Charles writes articles for websites. One of his new interests is African safaris now that he has been on one. For travel articles visit Travel List. Charles has just created a new blog CharlesHarmon.com where he rambles on about many things.