When dating, have you ever been tempted to tell a lie? I’m not talking about a little exaggeration of some fact, but a full fledged lie. If you ever have the urge to tell your dating partner a lie remember one lie begets another. Who knows where it will end, or when or where you will be caught in that web of lies.

Think of it this way. If you were dating someone would you want them telling you a lie? No, most certainly not. Why would you be dating someone if you knew they were lying to you? What would you think of them if you knew your dating partner was telling you a lie? Would they lose some respect from you? Would you break up the relationship?

As tempting as it may be to embellish, exaggerate or change one’s life by reframing things to a date, this will usually surface later and subsequently create a problem in your relationship. That’s one less problem to contend with if no lie was told.

Lying can be as innocent as saying you live alone when you live with your mom, to something more serious such as saying you are divorced when you are actually just separated. We lie usually to impress the other person or to cover up something that we fear may detract from our image. Dating or no dating it’s not fair to be deceiving someone by telling lies.

In the movie “Something About Mary” one of the characters makes up he’s an architect, that his profession is working with special kids and other lies to impress Mary. She actually liked him for these qualities and though most people do not go to this extreme, the movie showed how it really blew up in his face when his true character was revealed.

Obviously you may not want to immediately go into downloading your life with a dating partner and mentioning drug recovery, jail time or other parts of your history right away. However, as the relationship and dating builds it is good to share your life with your date.

When you are dating and you are asked questions early on that you aren’t ready to discuss, you can say that you would like to talk about it when you are ready. This is a better approach than to lie or deny something. Keep in mind that everyone has skeletons in their closet and most people are understanding.

I remember a friend of mine was a master at telling lies to girls. I didn’t know it at the time, but wondered how it was possible for him to go out with so many girls at different times. My friend was almost always out of a job and usually had no money to speak of. One time he slipped and told me that he had just told a girl he met he was an airline pilot. That lie was so big and unbelievable to me, but the girl didn’t know better and he was apparently so convincing in his lies that people believed the most preposterous lies.

He asked me to go along with it, but I couldn’t. He was on his own once I knew he was telling lies to get girls to go out with him. Don’t do that. Just tell the truth. I believe the truth can overcome many obstacles that you might feel you need to lie to your date about.

Like in other situations, when dating expect that some people may be uncomfortable with certain issues. Some people you’re dating will never date a former alcoholic even with a seven year sobriety record because they had an ex with that problem or a dad with an alcohol abuse issue. The memories may just be too vivid for people with certain histories.

It can be similar to a sore spot on your leg. It just can’t be touched without wincing or flinching. However, communication and true honesty are always the best ways to grow a dating relationship into something bigger and better. Being honest often can cure many past memories involving difficult family or marital situations.

If ever you have the urge to tell a lie to your date just think of how you’ll feel if they were telling you lies. If you’re like most of us, you wouldn’t stand for it if you knew your dating partner were lying. You’ve heard many times about how once you start telling lies they tend to keep coming and things will eventually come to a head. You don’t want that to happen. Be honest with yourself and your dating partner, and your dating relationship won’t be in jeopardy and will leave good feelings within you compared to lying to your date.

Copyright © Charles Harmon

Charles is a software developer. Charles is interested in your experiences with online dating services. He is also interested in self help techniques. Charles has been researching Internet Marketing and has a found some real money saving and
money making information products and services.